skittlevodka:

I just want to go to bed but preferably with you

"Be with someone who you’ll love to annoy for the rest of your life."
My 87 year old grandmother  (via 1112pm) ←
"I’m not a girl.
I’m a storm with skin."
(via seabelle) ←
search-the-castle:

ladiesloveloki:

nervous-crossbow:

yeahseeimclever:

spermjackiavelli:

miss-nerdgasmz:

modifiedmermaid:

freemindfreebody:

swift-as-the-coursing-river:

jimcavill:

Because a man has to be a sociopath to love a woman with cellulite. Screw this world. 

If all residents of hell look like Scarlett Johansson, I renounce my atheism and take up Satanism

Whoever wrote this needs to be punched. A lot.

Oh no 27. I’m 19 and have it, welcome to the non airbrushed real world.

#that article is awful #i would pay anything to look as good as her #like goddamn

I’m 20 and I have stretch marks and cellulite.

Most people get cellulite and stretch marks around 15. Literally because Puberty.

She looks hot, okay? Besides, maybe he’s just attracted to her personality GASP

A friend of mine was telling me about a conversation that she had with her boyfriend.  It went something like this:
"BF: Would you be upset if I left you for Scarlett Johansson?"
"My Friend: *looks BF dead in the eye* I would leave YOUfor Scarlett Johansson.”
And you know what….I agree 100000%.

It is an indisputable scientific fact that 99.999999% of the world population would leave their significant other for Scarlett Johansson. The sole exception to this is Scarlett Johansson, who, of course, already has herself.

search-the-castle:

ladiesloveloki:

nervous-crossbow:

yeahseeimclever:

spermjackiavelli:

miss-nerdgasmz:

modifiedmermaid:

freemindfreebody:

swift-as-the-coursing-river:

jimcavill:

Because a man has to be a sociopath to love a woman with cellulite. 
Screw this world. 

If all residents of hell look like Scarlett Johansson, I renounce my atheism and take up Satanism

Whoever wrote this needs to be punched. A lot.

Oh no 27. I’m 19 and have it, welcome to the non airbrushed real world.

#that article is awful #i would pay anything to look as good as her #like goddamn

I’m 20 and I have stretch marks and cellulite.

Most people get cellulite and stretch marks around 15. Literally because Puberty.

She looks hot, okay? Besides, maybe he’s just attracted to her personality GASP

A friend of mine was telling me about a conversation that she had with her boyfriend.  It went something like this:

"BF: Would you be upset if I left you for Scarlett Johansson?"

"My Friend: *looks BF dead in the eye* would leave YOUfor Scarlett Johansson.”

And you know what….I agree 100000%.

It is an indisputable scientific fact that 99.999999% of the world population would leave their significant other for Scarlett Johansson. The sole exception to this is Scarlett Johansson, who, of course, already has herself.
jason751:

Back in the 70s

jason751:

Back in the 70s

ximjustinlovex:

benedictscumberbatch:

“GIVE IT SEVEN YEARS AND HE’LL BE GIVING YOU JUST THAT.”

I tried to scroll past this. I really did.

impassabile:

••

impassabile:

••

"Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life."
Robin Sharma (via severs) ←
trashboat:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

now that is a cat

trashboat:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

now that is a cat

flowersass:

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.


 ihmy god there’s a popemobile too so you cN put yr fucking car in another cars butt so it doesnt have to drive around on its own are you ridiculous

flowersass:

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

ihmy god there’s a popemobile too so you cN put yr fucking car in another cars butt so it doesnt have to drive around on its own are you ridiculous